Toxic dad's side family
My dad's side family is disturbing mine and my mom's mental peace over property disputes. I lost my dad last year. Has younger brother . He is not interested in anything. And don't take any part in discussion. At the end, as an elder daughter I am facing them. Because when my mom starts speaking to them she don't talk normally. She talk like she is fighting. Her tone is like that only When I asked her why u r talking like this. Talk normally, silently She is like u dont know these people are. How they tortured u r dad. Now when I started participating I am also feeling the same. They are like u will only have to listen to ours.will not listen to my things. Will try to put pressure. There is a small piece of land of all three of us( big uncle, us ,small uncle) , other farmers acquired little portion because we are not giving attention Then we had land measurements by the government. They confirmed that the land they have acquired is ours So we decided to have a compound around that. They bring a person.I told them I know a person who will do it at the same rate and in great quality.they said okay. They wasted 5 days in that. Mid between that guy went on site 2 times for measurement. Today 3 rd time he visited just to explain to them. now again they are saying it will start from next Sunday because my big uncle's big son has knowledge about this. So will wait for him
If he has knowledge why didn't take part actively Why is he coming at the end? Why should we waste our time for him? The person I saw has very good experience in that field .I got these questions I didn't say anything. I said okay I guys do. I will not be there There also they had a problem Why u will not be there. I said i am going to Bangalore, I am here for 2 days.I am ready to take leave if u will start from tomorrow.I am not even sure they will give the whole money to him or not whatever we decide to give. If they won't then I will have to pay. Because I invited him I will be responsible. These people are also very toxic and will speak in high volume. I dont know Me and my mom always get scared and think and why these people are doing things Now what should we talk. What they will do it if we do this. I really want to get rid of this all shit I don't want any stress in my and my life But property is also important. I just want to express this somewhere so here I wrote. Its totally damaging out mental peace
Talking product sense with Ridhi
9 min AI interview5 questions
One thing I learn from sharing land with siblings is that you don't. Sell your piece of land to someone or either one and ask them if they're willing to buy it or you'll sell it to a third party. After you build a house things like, maintenance, painting and diving cost would be an issue. The person not staying in the house would say he wouldn't pay for maintenance or go pay land tax and every other things and eventually even the best brother's relationship gets soiled over time. My family had multiple quarrels. We finally decided to sell our share of flat and moved on and build on a land owned just by my dad. It's been peaceful ever since. Trust me on this, it will save u years of headache..
We can’t sell that. It’s very valuable and at a prime location. Not only land even we share shop among us which also cost in 70–80 lakh at prime location. My brother is not earning. They all are earning. Why should we sell? There are no other things for earning for my brother and he has a medical issue. My mom and dad struggled a lot for getting these all things on our family name (I mean the whole family including uncle) and their efforts and sacrifice will be lost. My dad put his hard earn money to get it from people who acquired.My mom will never ever do that.
Again sometimes it is about peace and sometimes it's about money to sustain. Either way works. But having 2 uncles that want to conflict is never a good sign. My family suffered a lot. We decided to stop suffering after 18 long years. Sold it at significantly lower market price but my dad said it's his best investment as he can retire in peace without any stress.
I could relate. at 30 I lost both of my parents and I am a single girl child. I am facing something similar and drastic. Even though I am married my husband is not so supportive on these matters. My father has one younger brother. He started fighting with me for my grandfathers land and properties since the day I lost my father. He is so terrible. a thief a loose character person. It’s just shame to call him as my uncle. I am also stubborn and really don’t want to leave anything where my father has contributed a lot. He forcefully doing farming on those . Since I am staying away from my village, I really don’t have good connection with any one over there… Not sure where and where I need to start all the things and fight against on that rascal…..I am also too tensed!
Why life is so hard on good people I don't understand. One thing u can do, if know that u r piece of land just do compound, add a board it anyone will do anything on this legal action will be taken. If u r uncle still does anything on that sent legal notice. I know people like him usually avoid to get into legal things because they know they are wrong .
How old if your brother?
This august he will be 25.
We don't want to give that stress to him. Because we already saved his life from death threatening situation. We just want to keep him safe. Everybody tell the same thing to us why only u two are speaking and stepping ahead. Why u r not pushing him. Ask him to contribute. Because we only know how we saved him. We fought a battle for years and survived that no one knows. He already has gone through a lot in life at very early stage. From there only I started getting panic attacks because I was also small that time and not ready to accept all those things which happened to us. But god gives us strength and by God Grace we saved him. Still I have those scars. But I will protect him at any cost. We cant even tell the people why we are not involving him and people think we are those women who dont allow anybody to speak and most imp he has least interest. So we can't even force it .
Have been in such land and property dispute situation, however had bit better conditions thank yours
All I can say is its a long battle, will take lot of time and mental peace... one of the worst things to be involved in
All the best. Feel free to Dm if you wanna tak more about this