There is one guy on my team who handles feedback so poorly that they engage in narcissistic tendencies. I've seen them bootlick the right people due to their closer proximity and utilize crony wordplay to show that they are harmless. When in fact they try to advance their own agenda to further their own gain. Every company on their resume is a checklist and the megalomania in them is palpable.
Unfortunately most people on the team are too naive and won't realize it until it's too late. Which means by the time he is done using everyone else, he will bounce and do it at their next company while completely f'ing over their current coworkers.
Anyone had a similar experience?
There's a narcissist hiding in all of us, justifying our worst behaviours 🤷♂️
@Fawkes That is oh so true tbh. But not more than who I am talking about. Unless you're that person at work.
Full blown Sociopaths and psychopaths do exist everywhere, just that they remain a minority (thankfully less than 5% of any population).
My experience tells me anyone can become one given the right (or wrong) circumstances though.
I doubt it's as intentional as one would think.
This is the major reason why sub groups within groups, dislikes, low transparency, secrets and back stabbers are formed. I would always recommend that you keep all your works, ideas, efforts spent on over email keeping higher ups in the team on loop. This ensures the credits are always given to the person who first proposed or thought of it. Keep as much as possible on records and avoid those toxic people who are fit for nothing.
How exactly did that person use others for gain?
@LightDestiny He will readily throw people under the bus if the idea he proposes fails stating technical challenges or execution difficulties. Whereas if it succeeds then it is all about the brilliance of ideas and the first principles thinking they've doen.
That's kind of brilliant ngl
Well most (or many) people do realise it. In fact even the company realises it. World is full of such people in every industry- film, medical, blue-collar, politics, law - we can go on..
We have to learn to work around them (or against them if you’re up for it) In case they are engaging in something illegal, immoral or unethical you should bring that forward. If not then just treat them as just another person and be indifferent.
@Donut This is the realest answer here. The problem is that these people tend to be class A assholes.
Had a manager worse than this. She would play favourites and try to create animosity between team mates and other assistant managers. After a point of tolerating so much toxicity, I just stopped reacting to her. Whenever she praised, I didn't care. Whenever she scolded or gave backhanded comments, I didn't care. She had planned to move to a team with my colleague (of the same designation) post promotion, but karma had other plans. She didn't get the promotion and instead of the colleague, sent me there and sort of kicked me out of the team. A week later, she ended up resigning and so did all the clique members who were her sidekicks. And the new team I joined has some of the most friendly and understanding people I've ever met in my life.
@NiftyPunch9 This happens between the kind of cracked managers who are not getting paired up with a new role up in the chain of command.
I can totally relate to this. But I believe it's true in most places where people aren't there to build and win as a team to advance the org goals but are there to simply advance themselves.
This is also why great engineers get bored from being in top companies like FAANG bcoz they'd much rather focus on engineering work than deal with all this.
It's truly rare to see a team who collectively wants to win and is always gonna focus on making their team really good. Such a team where each one goes to bat for one another. Is there to take a bullet for you and you would do the same.
A team where each one isn't there to win promotions, they are just there to have fun and promotions just become byproduct. That's what I call a high efficiency team where teammates bond is great.
I wanna experience that once in this lifetime pls
@jake_peralta_B99 This is actually oh so true man.
In my 20 year career, I have come across quite a few such characters. And they thrive in any bureaucratic  environment.
People will say be a bigger man etc etc, but imo the only way to fight a sociopath is by becoming a sociopath or finding another sociopath.
@ArjunGopinath Yes that is so true.
My first 2 managers were extremely Manipulative and Narcissistic. And I being the fresher just went with their words initially and screwed the initial 2 years of my career.
I only got to know about Narcissism, Psychopathy and other conditions during 2nd wave of COVID and it suddenly start making whole lot of sense, why some people behaved like a****oles and never improved their behaviour.
@BearMoody That is what we call the end of the world.
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Ball boy 🤣
