Parents visited me in BLR, and somehow I feel worse!
They were here for a week, staying with me. They left this morning and the silence in the house again is killing me as i work.
Looking back at the last few days, what did I actually do? "I have a standup, please keep your voice down." "Too tired, dinner mangwa lete hain, baahar nahin jaate" "You guys should go to Agara in the morning"
I treated their visit like a logistical burden. A task to be managed between work and chores. I spent more time scrolling Instagram than talking to the people who literally starved themselves to pay my school fees.
Here is the raw truth: We think we have time. We don't. I did the math. If I visit home once a year for 5 days, and they live another 15-20 years, I have maybe 100 days left with them. Total.
And even those 100 days won't be the same. The dynamic has shifted. We aren't a family living under one roof anymore. We are just polite adults visiting each other. I’m not their son anymore, I’m just their host who pays the bills.
Screw the 30 LPA and the "hustle".. If your parents are around, shut the laptop. Just sit with them.
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What a hard hitting raw truth !
Same here, my parents also came here a few years back and during their whole stay they felt like they were in a jail. Once I go to the office they will be both alone at home, they can't go out, mingle or chit chat with the neighbours even bcz the environment here is not the same like our home town and most of the ppl keep themselves a bit reserved. Now the whole day they used to keep an eye on the clock the time I come from ofc in the evening. They wanted me to sit with them and talk, but having my work pressure I couldn't make it and login and continue my work till late. Again the same thing repeats the next day. One day my dad got very angry by seeing my situation and started scolding me saying - what type of work are you doing that you don't get time to sit and talk to us? Why are you doing this job. Leave the job, no need to do ?? 😰 Really I was shocked that day but was helpless. They wanted to go back to their hometown immediately. I booked the tickets and sent them. But that was the last visit to my place for them. They never came here after that, neither will they come in future bcz they both are no more now. They passed away in Dec 25. It's a very painful memory for me 🥺😭
oh wow that sucks. i hope you get better. they would definitely be proud of the efforts you put in the job and make a living, and would have internally been happy that you are self sustaining.
Man! I am so sorry to hear this! I just hope you visited them before they passed away and have spent some quality time with them. What you wrote towards the end is definitely not something anyone would want to have as a last memory with anyone let alone the ones who gave birth and raised you for 15+ years! 🙏
My salary might not be 'Bangalore-level,' but living in my hometown of Bhubaneswar has given me a wealth that money can’t buy. I recently lost my mother, but I carry no regrets—we talked a lot, we travelled, and we truly lived together. Today, it’s just my father and me, navigating life one day at a time. Sometimes, the best career move is the one that brings you home.
may i ask why you didnt take leave when they vistied
Shitty companies like Angel one had written permanent in my offer letter which allowed me to live with my parents and take care of them but suddenly the new ceo comes and removed wfh policy. That's why I fucking hate these corporates.
Man…this one hits home. I used to think I was a good son because I provided. Because I worked hard. Because I meant well in my head. Overtime I realised...Intent doesn't hug back. Presence does.
I kept postponing softness. I postponed conversations. I postponed sitting next to my father without looking at my phone. I postponed asking my mother about her fears instead of just her health.
I just kept telling myself "Once things settle" Things never settle. We just get used to the chaos. And then life levels you. Suddenly you would trade every appraisal, every increment, every "important" meeting for one boring cup of tea at the dining table. The scary part? Nobody announces the last normal day. You feeling this means your heart is intact. Just don't let this be a reflective post and nothing more. Turn it into action while it’s still boring and ordinary. Because boring and ordinary with them - is gold.
Thank you for this post.. I needed it more than you I think.
Could you please refer me?
My parents have chronic illness and everyday I live in anxiety each call from home makes me super anxious....I will soon look for a WFH job but at the same time I wont get anything with similiar pay.
I feel you. You are not alone. Please take care of your mental health.
Man this thread is so important, thanks for opening my 👀
Man this thread is what I needed today
I was worked from office from 3 months and got permanent WFH approval
Now its been around 3 years working from home and from last week I was feeling stuck in my role and was desperately looking for some good opportunity even if that is WFO
Now After reading all the comments I realised how privileged I am
Having dinner and breakfast with my mom and dad
No money can buy what I am having right now
This thread came to me as an eye opener and not to be thankless
You did great coming to this realisation. Take unpaid leave, if needed. Go home for a week. Start today!