Need advice on arrange marriage match
I’m considering an arranged marriage proposal and wanted some honest opinions.
The girl is around 27.5 years old and from a science background (BSc). Her family mentioned that since she is from a science stream, she is capable of working. However, there seems to be a gap of several years after graduation with no clear job or career details. They also said its not possible to talk much before marriage or without commitment.
About me: I’m 30 years old and working in IT with a stable income.
My questions:
Is this kind of gap normal?
Should I see this as a red flag?
What should I ask to get clarity without sounding rude?
Would appreciate practical advice. Thanks!
The gap could mean anything not necessarily a red flag. If the proposal looks decent on paper to you, you should take it forward l. It doesn't mean you will have to marry her. You will get some time to know things better. And if they are hell bent about not much communication before marriage, then it's a dead lock. Also in most cases when there is no communication or the girl isn't allowed to communicate before marriage could mean a red flag.
If you are somewhat interested and there is some scope to take a step and talk about whatever concerns you then it's fine, else NO.
My parents are not allowing to communicate, they said accept whatever is available, this is best for you
Run run run run
Career gap? Why so much fuss about it ? Are you looking for a bride or a person who will earn and add to your annual income ..
I wanted to know reason, like if required in future she can also work, because people get bored at home alone
Just say no and move on...if ur looking for housewife then u can consider ...
Having no job is fine. But having no job and being single for 5+ years (assuming she finished her BSc at 21) is big red flag. It could mean either they are very choosy or they really had a valid reason like unable to find a match. There is no way to find the truth unless you happen to know the family.
No offence, But TechM isn't exactly FAANG, that they decided to "choose". Unless yours is a community issue where there are more Guys than girls and your community is specific on Horoscope matching, location preference, etc.. its a Red flag.. Run.
You need to have a honest conversation with the girl, tell the family i need to have a chat. This is mandatory, how else will you decide? Its as simple as that!!!
Dont look back just run. People who dont want to disclose are mostly dishonest people and cant face the reality if its their wrongdoing or wrong done on them. They love deniability you should steer away from those.
Think what kind of partner you want. Working non-working. Both have advantages and disadvantages. And convey your expectations to that girl and clear things. This is a one time business don't enter with a doubt
As per me, it is a red flag unless the gap is due to some health issues. I don't see any other reason not share the details. I would recommend you not to proceed with any sort of assumptions. If you are expecting your spouse to be working, make things clear before committing. It is not rude to ask on gap. Or you can ask about her future career plans, like what domain, or what role, or what industry. For someone who wish to work, will have some plan. Gap can be normal if someone was preparing for govt exams. Or due to health issues or due to some failed plan. They should have tried something.
The career gap depends on what kind of job you prefer to work and her interest too. More than her family, please ask her whether she is really interested to work or not.
