I feel I don't deserve good things
I was having a discussion with a friend about spending money on self and/or splurge. Realised that I have this inherent feeling of I don't deserve good/better things in life.
When I thought at length, I could recollect many events from the past where I had self sabotaged good things/experiences that I was actually looking forward to, over trivial reasons. Like getting angry over trivial issues and not going through or convincing myself I don't really need to do/own xyz
Even today I can only spend money on things that I feel I absolutely need. Even though I earn well, I'm always hesitant to splurge even a little bit. Whereas when it's about getting things for my family or friends, I don't think like that. For example, I bought 50k+ phones for both my mom and sister, but I myself use a budget android. I have thought countless times about getting a flagship phone but always talk myself out of it saying I don't need an expensive phone. Similar case with sending my parents on a trip vs me doing a budget trip once a year.
Has anyone broken out of this cycle? What helped you?
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To be honest, I can barely relate As soon as I could earn, I started buying decent things (of course, all within budget, and most of my money always saved)
That said, you need to start appreciating the value of life/moments/time/happiness. A good vacation, if it makes you happy, you should just do. A PS5 if it makes you feel happy, just buy!
Don't get that 10K rupee perfume, don't buy 15K sneakers - those are luxuries and brands playing (although they're still sometimes amazing)
But don't deprive yourself of value and a better life. It's a function of your life experiences, but meditate over it, and write it in a note. Talk yourself out of it.
Make the first purchase, the second. And soon you'll be more comfortable with it.
You're on a stoic path pal, keep going but also keep questioning
I used to think exactly the same way. It's your money, you deserve to treat it any way you please.
At the very least, it should give you a sense of security, contentment.
A lot of us tend to romanticise struggle and sacrifices. Eventually makes us spiral into something worse.
If it's well within your means, there is no harm in splurging once in a while.
I can 90% relate, let me know if you find a way
Haha it's our middle class mentality and nothing else. Our natural instinct is to give others comfort. Ready to do give everything. This happens with me too.