What is the most absurd question a prospect's family has asked you?
I am a 29-year-old guy working as an SDE-2 in Bangalore making around 38 LPA. I started the arranged marriage process six months ago and the level of background checks these families do makes my org's HR look like a joke. Last weekend I met a prospect's father at a cafe in Indiranagar and after the basic pleasantries he literally asked me to open my phone and show him my CIBIL score. When I laughed it off thinking he was joking, he kept a straight face and said they need to be sure I don't have hidden personal loans or credit card debt. He then casually asked what my performance rating was in the last appraisal cycle and if I am in the top quartile of my team because tech layoffs are happening everywhere and they want a "stable" future for their daughter. The girl works in a media agency making maybe 8 LPA but her family expects me to prove my financial purity like I am applying for a mortgage I just paid the bill and left. I am curious to know what is the most intrusive or ridiculous question you guys have faced during this whole AM circus because I am seriously considering staying single at this point.
Wow! So you expect a father to get her daughter married to a person who might be down in heavy debt, under performer in office, etc etc?? Wow, like wow! What kind of expectations people have .. marriage is like a kind of gamble, serious gamble..in which often the other party knows very little about the opposite party (love/ arranged marriage, doesn’t matter). Recently I got to know that one of my friends got married to a girl a few years ago and now she is getting diagnosed with some serious pre illnesses, and now the entire cost my friend’s family has to bear, plus all the uncertainty stress related with serious illnesses. Now just imagine if we make blood tests and other tests before marriage a norm across society, how fait it gets for everyone. Marriage must include absolute disclosures in all form, absolute transparency.. after all its a very serious life charging step, and a decision that impacts the entire family.
So guys, chill, if your cibil score is clear, and your intentions are pure, try n understand a father’s pov and cooperate, otherwise looks like you are a Red flag, trying to hide things in the name of “polished external image”.
Hey CIBIL is ok to check no? If you're down in debt marriage feels like and is an easy way to blackmail the girl after marriage into asking money from inlaws.
Now of course you are not that guy, but there are others that do this or have done this.
In a world where people are being cheated and scammed, father has a right to fear and question.
And this also gives you the opportunity to equally vet the girl. Ask for her cibil, ask him if she had any past relationships, ask her to open her social media, whatsapp conversations, ask for medical tests, ask if family has any mental illness or cancer histories.
Ask if you can travel with her for a day or two to know her better. Travel to non luxury, difficult places- masks wear off.
Ask him if she agrees to have kids - not joking but a lot of girls don't want to have kids whereas you may want to.
You must have accepted the profile before meeting, means you like the girl for what it's worth. You shouldn't have left. Explore completely next time.
Also a prenup is important. It's life insurance these days.
Damn man, this definitely sounds like a very bad experience. Sorry you had to go through this.
I agree to the father...i have a daughter too!
Ladki ka Instagram check kiya kya? Father has trauma, girl will likely carry it and if she does not he will always coerce her. Mutual vetting kar sakte ho par bhai ye Banda mujhe alag laga aur tumhein bhi
I think although it sounds ridiculous but it's necessary nowadays to check cibil score of possible groom and bride. Its also equally important to get a thorough checkup of medical history for any pre - existing illness. Due to the general mindset in Indian families, people tend to hide any existing illness during match making and it comes out later after marriage. Atleast your future spouse should know whom they are marrying and then consciously decide what to do.
Cibil score is important because now a trend is ongoing that for any stuff we don't want to wait. Just get it instantly with a quick loan.
This habit is dangerous and doesn't always go away with age. So better to be safe than sorry.
It becomes even more important considering marriages in India are damn expensive. If the spouse is already in mountain of debt and adding more debts, then it might be super risky to start the financial life with that person
So you expect a father to give his beloved daughter to debt ridden or low performing guy who could get laid off anytime? Lol.
Reading the comment section made me realise that why our society is still backward. Educated professionals are talking like this- virgin hot girls, blood tests, etc. why do you want to marry? get a maid 🤦
