Toxic mother in law
I live in a joint family kind of set up with my husband, my infant, brother in law and my mother in law. My father in law passed away before I got married. I married my long time bf who is the eldest at his home. In the last 4 years of my marriage, all I have faced is an emotional torture from my mother in law. I really don’t know where to begin from or what all to write but all I can say is that it is only my sense of commitment to my relationship with my husband that I do not leave everything and go away. Because my father in law is not there, my mil has all the emotional and materialistic dependencies from my husband. She knows that my bil will not do anything for her. But instead of appreciating the fact that I not once ever asked my husband to step back from his responsibilities, she keeps on throwing all the shit on me on anything and I mean any smallest thing that upsets her. I work in a high demanding office set up. My husband keeps traveling, so I take care of everything that has to be ordered for home, cook, maid, nanny, everything that needs to be repaired. On top of that her expectation is that I take care of the home just like our mothers used to, when the reality is that I really don’t have that bandwidth. She talks secretly to my sisters’ mils and bitches about me and my parents, bad mouths my entire family whenever she wants. Gets upset if my husband buys me smallest of things or takes my side or even shows love to me in any way. I do agree she takes care of my young infant like her own child when I am at office and she behaves like normal people when she is not upset, but the amount of negativity that she has, I am just sick of it. I know I can do nothing ever, that will make her happy. She openly shows biases against me. She competes with me at smallest of things . She becomes jealous when her own relatives say good things about me. I know it is a rant but I am just sick . Everytime she behaves like shit with me, it pushes me into a trench of darkness. Just need to hear if anybody else is facing something like this and what do you think I should do to cope with this.
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Bro. Wild suggestion. Get a job in another city. Or get a job which is less demanding.
Another wild suggestion is hire a virtual assistant if you have money who can take care of things like ordering online. Use money to buy yourself time. Nd once in a month just spend some time for urself so that u can relax.
Also u can also try the drama of jumping in balcony. 😀 just kidding.
Also see even after doing everything u r going to be cursed. So better do what u can and ignore rest, and get cursed. But protect urself. Dont try to be a good bahu... good bahu hardly exists. There is hardly any mil who is happy with thier bahu. So chill.
You either need to shut it and take it till she conks, or explain your situation so she understands, or start giving it back. Hubby will ask why you're causing "problems", but he cannot just escape the toxicity you are facing.
He is in full agreement with the toxicity his mother is causing but cannot do anything about it because if he says even one thing in my support, she will not just start bad mouthing him but start throwing all kinds of taunts and tortures at me. He feels helpless because she will threaten him to jump from the balcony or go downstairs without carrying a phone. Once he said that he will leave for abroad with me and our child if she continues this behaviour. She started crying and blackmailing him that she is his mother.