Still don't feel confident at work even after spending quite some time in the role
I’ve been in my current job for a while now, long enough that I should feel comfortable, confident, and at least somewhat competent. But I don’t. Most days, I still feel anxious, like I’m faking it or constantly a step behind. I wake up already tense, and go through my workday in a weird mix of panic and autopilot. It’s not like I don’t try, I do. I show up, I get things done, but it never feels like enough or like I truly know what I’m doing.
I’m always second guessing myself, always bracing for something to go wrong, and it’s exhausting. Even small tasks can feel huge just because of the mental weight I attach to them. I don’t feel good about this at all, and I hate how I’m always in this state of tension. I want to focus on the task at hand, but my brain keeps jumping ahead worrying about the future, what’ll happen if I fail, how long I can keep this up, etc. It’s like I’m mentally somewhere else all the time, and never in the present moment with the actual work.
Has anyone else felt like this? How do you ground yourself and stop spiraling about things that haven’t even happened yet? I just want to feel at peace while working like I’m in control, not barely holding on.
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Steps :
- If your manager is friendly and you can trust them, talk with them. Ask for guidance. That should help.
- If you are living a sedentary lifestyle, go for a walk/jog/run everyday. Spend some time on meditation. The goal is to live a life that's more moving, more refreshing, away from sedentary and idle.
- Although many people say this should be the first step, I feel this should be your final step. The final step is to note down what makes you anxious or anything trembling for that matter. Then plan out how to address them, one at a time. The reason I kept it at last is because, if you religiously did the first two, you should now be having a far more free and stable mind that allows you to sit on bigger thoughts and think/work on them better.
If at any point, it requires you to consult a therapist or someone, just find a reliable professional person for that and get through it. It's definitely not worth pushing around and hoping the puzzle pieces fall into their places on their own.
Regards, The stranger who also had the same issues in my first job, did not take or ask for help until it was too late, ended up spending a big amount of time into finally getting back to stability.
Its been almost 5 years. Lol i can relate to each word you have typed. Its like i have typed it. Only one thing has helped me "Fuck it I am not getting paid enough. The worst that can happen to me is that I will get fired but just like I landed this job without any help from Anybody I shall land another"
Its exactly what i go through....and "fuck it!!" I dont owe anything to anyone " - Attitude is what i have developed!! There is much more to explore in life and within yourself. Its just a matter of time when you realize your actual potential.
Haha. So on point.
I ALWAYS DO FEEL THIS WAY, ALWAYS.
YOU TOLD EACH WORDS WHICH I FEEL.
OMG. THABK GOD ATLEAST SOMEONE ELSE IS ALSO FEELING THAT WAY
I can really relate to this. You're not alone friend.
Same, but I think changing the work environment will help you. These kinds of things happen when your team or manager is not giving you enough recognition for what you're contributing. Of course, there are other factors but this is one of the contributing factors. I used to be anxious at work and be waiting for something to go wrong, and changed my job, feeling of not doing enough is there, but I'm not anxious and under confident anymore coz of the team and manager.
I have felt the same. After spending a decade in the same job, I didnt enjoy it and constantly felt the same. You have described my dilemma word by word. But I Did a little introspection and realised I never really liked coding. Since it was the only job at the time, I just joined it and personally never really put any effort to enjoy it. Naturally when there is no inclination you don’t want to upskill either. When all of these things happen, you also realise other people are good at it, and the insecurity keeps growing.
Now in this case two things are happening
A- you are doing something you don’t enjoy
b- you are also not very good at it, basically you do enough to just keep yourself afloat.
I stopped resisting this feeling and started exploring other interests in life . So that when the time is right I can pivot in that direction. Anxiety sometimes also stems from the fear of not able to live your life the way you want. I would suggest to sit yourself and think in that direction, at least it really helped me ease it out.
It's called Impostor Syndrome and it's super duper common among Engineers is what I've heard
Most of us are faking it bro
Start hitting the GYM(weight training not cardio). I also felt super underconfident but as i was getting stronger physically in gym I realized i was actully mentally also getting strong. People say that nothing like that but trust me it does wonders. i has some childhood trauma & i was a super nervous / anxious human being . BUT it all changed since 2 years so go for it
https://youtu.be/C5VY96QqsAs?si=qJSHP_vzSCASp-2H
You just need to watch this 1 minute that is all summed up
And man why is morgan stanley making you develop a video game? Just curious