My 3 year journey after college

Straight out of college, I dove headfirst into the chaotic world of startups, spending nearly two years at an Indonesian tech venture led by an Indian founder. Honestly, these past years have left me jaded, frustrated, and much wiser about the darker realities of so-called “startup culture.”

What reality looks like:

Startups sell you a dream, but hand you drudgery: Yes, you do learn a lot—initially, the adrenaline of crunching tech and assuming multiple roles is real. But let’s be honest: after the honeymoon period, the work quickly descends into monotony. You’re promised endless “growth,” but end up fixing the same bugs and solving the same problems in an endless grind. It’s easy to find yourself stuck, realizing you've been learning less and burning out more. If I could offer advice to my younger self—or anyone new: don’t stay more than two years unless your role changes dramatically.

Founders weaponize storytelling: Startup founders are some of the most persuasive people you’ll meet. They’ll spin every company shortcoming as a feature, not a bug. Low salary? “We’re all investing in our dream!” Obscene hours? “You’re building your legacy!” Zero perks? “We’re not about free food—we’re about purpose!” The reality: they are happy to let you slog night after night while they pocket the lion’s share if things work out.

The ESOP myth—a masterclass in overpromising: I remember being told, with a grin and handshake, that my $1,000 in ESOPs would make me a crorepati if I just worked hard enough. The odds of that happening? Less than 1%. Contrast this with MAANG giants, where RSUs are real, liquid, and historically far more rewarding. Worst of all, founders dangle these hopes in front of you to justify underpaying, forever moving the finish line while they talk of “big exits.” I've seen colleagues skip vacations, forgo personal milestones, and sacrifice weekends, all on the back of promises that never materialized.

“We’re not 9-to-5”—but it's really 10-to-10: The founder at my last company loved dumping on a “corporate mindset.” But when it comes to demanding 10–12 hour days with no overtime, it's somehow “the startup way.” Simple things like reimbursement for dinners when working late, or even a team outing, are shot down as “unnecessary frills.” The CEO/founder went so far as to scold an employee for suggesting monthly team lunches—“We’re not here for freebies, we’re here to build!” All this while ignoring how exhausted, unappreciated, and demotivated everyone felt. The IT guy was let go for speaking up.

Goalposts keep shifting: Maybe you’re promised a senior role “in a year” or the chance to “bring a new tech stack” Twelve months later, the company pivots, or the founder claims “it’s not the right time yet.” I’ve watched friends get their roles switched out from under them, project assignments revoked, and growth opportunities yanked away—always with the excuse that “startups require flexibility.” Strangely, that flexibility only ever benefits the founder.

Credit hoarding and blame games: In one townhall, the founder took gave full credit for a big launch to a leader that reports to him - never mentioning the engineering team that stayed late for weeks to make it happen. He even suggested one of the leaders got multi million USD in ESOPs and would soon be a arabpati during buyback. When things went wrong, the same founder was quick to point fingers at “execution issues” or “lack of ownership” among the team. This two-faced leadership kills morale and makes you question why you’re sacrificing so much.

My honest advice: Don’t get blinded by the charisma or stories. If your founder makes you feel like you owe them gratitude for a subpar salary, abusive hours, or empty promises—run. You need to protect your own happiness, health, and growth. There are companies out there that will nurture your abilities, compensate you fairly, and treat you like a human being—not like a machine.

You deserve more than just a founder’s sales pitch. Value yourself enough to walk away from the dream they’ve spun when it starts to look more like a nightmare.