Matrimony sites just don't work for men
27M here, earning decent in 20-30LPA range, avg looks, well built (gymming for a while now). So, i spent last few months exploring matrimony sites for any good match. My initial expectation was simple - decent looking and earning girl. Since i believed if both of us work we can build our dream life faster..
Here's my experience so far -
- Most of them are looking for govt wale bande. Especially if girl is also in govt job - inko to sirf IAS level ke bande chahiye - Was expecting the craze but this is just so absurd that you start regretting your life decisions..
- Caste system is very prominent here. Like even if i convince my parents to look beyond this - other side just won't. Had a particularly bad experience where they accepted my request & in profile they mentioned they are open to it and we tried talking to them - they got annoyed ki - uss caste se thodi karenge be.. Like, dude then atleast mention it in your profile then.
- Most of them don't bother putting any info other than a pic - And then they say don't judge by looks but then how else am i supposed to know you?
- Earning girls have their expectations of atleast 2x earning groom. If the girl is good looking it becomes 3-5x.. Like what happened to equality? hello?
- Then you have papa ki pari types.. girl earning peanuts but expects groom to match her father's earning.
- Even meeting that criteria is not enough.. You have to be perfect in everything else as well..
- Even when you do connect with them - they just ghost you after initial call and start expecting ki they will find someone better. This just becomes a game of validation and how high you can get.. And not for finding any meaningful connection..
- And the sad part is - most of these girls will settle for less when they get to that age.. Then they start to question ki ache ladke nahi mil rahe
- Then, there's whole divorce and alimony discussions which just scares to me..
Still hopeful but don't have any expectations. Isse ache to i should marry a housewife.. Atleast she will value what i bring to the table Anyway, Thanks for reading my ramblings.. just wanted to get this off my chest..
Question to - Fellow men - Did these matrimony sites work for you? Or is it just better to look for within internal circle only.. Also, do you plan to marry earning girl? To girls here - What are you really looking for in your future husband (if on matrimony sites)? I am curious..
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You should be grateful that you earn 20-30L and hence atleast got some interests who actually spoke once with you
Here, I have been exploring the same over the last month with zero genuine connections even buying a paid plan on shaadi com. I earn 10-15L PA. They ghost even after accepting the request, and the sad part that I have observed is they don't even go through the profile before accepting, literally feels like a dating app swipes rather than some serious matrimony.
I am thinking of just being on dating apps now, with a clear motive of marriage written in Bio. Matrimony apps feel like a place of just filters and money minded people. Better to prioritise form over matter.
Aaj kl ki kudion kaa mind runs on mound everest peak. They & their family want God as their son in law 🤣🤣. They don't care about mind matching and if that doesn't then kalesh starts after sangeet..
Within ones own social circle if the marriage doesn't get fixed. Then it's very difficult unless there is an aspirational value . Matrimony sites only make it worse.
When you try shopping on Amazon, how many check after page 2-3, without changing search terms? That's the problem matrimony site, on steroids.
If one doesn't find a match in 3 months. Delete your profile, improve on self - job, finance, looks and come back after 6 months. Longer one stays, difficult it gets.
Iam part of the team that runs a matrimony site in south india. It's absolutely crazy for men. For most it's an unwinnable war.
yeah makes sense.. thanks for the insights!
Some deloitte girl told me that only losers are on matrimony sites. That’s the mentality they have bro. What can we do about it
Add some more details like own car(brand and on road price), any assets like flat or farm lands, your saving potential, etc etc they will contact you for sure.
Like i am applyin for some loan😅 Not sure if matches found this way have geniune interest..
Hahaha that's the reality! We have to show payslips, property papers etc etc. if you ask any marriage brokers they collect all these
how are men and women both having same issues with the matrimony app? i uninstalled aisle thinking it was not my cup of tea coz no good match!
Yaar, mai ye matrimony apps/sites pe nai jaatha
I am not good at knowing people (judging whether she is compatible with me and vice-versa)
So my family does the searching for me. Atleast I feel that's better.
(Ye sab alimony, blue bucket cases dekh ke, confidence nai aa raha)
yeah i am no good at judging compatibility either lol..
family is also searching but not finding good matches so far..
Still felt ki should explore other ways..
Your dream is wrong if both earning the peace from life will exit think trice before finding carrier oriented girl.
If she is earning, don’t expect ki wo tumko pani bhi Degi khud se , khana banayegi to Ehsaan sa feel kraegi, Haa thoda money Jyada ayega ghar me jab dono working hoge but tumri respect , tumko appreciation jesa feel nhi hoga kabhi , you will more feel like roommates k sath th rhe ho
Girls today are too immature and delusional. Maybe it's all a part of his plan to reduce population.