Kids or DOINK??

broke up with my girl just days before engagement for the same reason. She didn’t want em I wanted em. Don’t marry if you guys aren’t on the same page for this. :D

If you love him then get married and have kids, thank me later.

You shudnt marry if you are on different page on kids.

There's no middle ground I can think of.

If your husband earns enough, why do you want to slog for a company that will fire you whenever they want? Sit at home and chill, find a hobby or startup project, explore life. Toddler can happen later too, initial years of marriage are great for travel and exploration as a couple.

Kya karogi itne paisa jab tumhara koi legacy hi nai hoga. For the company you are just a number jis din mood hua over and out. Money is medium to exchange goods. Money itself dont have any value.

Having and raising a kid is a big commitment. A big sacrifice too. Don't listen to all the generalizations here girl. People without exposure to true independence and ambition would judge you, give gyan without being in your shoes. Listen to your own voice. Ask yourself if the guy and his wishes are worth the sacrifice for you. If he wants a kid to feel fulfilled in life, he deserves it (with you, with someone else, or maybe even adopted). Similarly you deserve to live your life to the fullest too (people will often tell you that you aren't that important but society, culture etc. is). See if any of you value your bonds more than these seperate desires. If not then it is better to end the relationship for the benefit of both. If you think he is more valuable then you will find a way to be satisfied (if not happy) with the sacrifice of bearing the child. Only with that satisfaction can you be the mother that a child deserves. Ask yourself whether the relationship is worth the sacrifice while doing something that brings you peace (like while having tea or trekking or gardening etc. that calms you). The answer will be your solution.

See, females have to bear the brunt of having the ability to produce another human being. No one in this world can change that. It's an evolutionary thing.

You need to walk this discussion very carefully with your love, so keep it clear in your head.

If career success is all you need in your life, let him go. Don't marry anyone. All your time should be going in your career efforts. This fact has nothing to do with gender. Exemplary success in career comes at a cost, irrespective of gender, occupation. That cost often comes by deprioritizing other things (usually family, love, kids, health) in your life.

If you want both, decent career and family life, then its a tougher road to walk as a woman, especially after having the kid. Your career will 100% take a hit for a few years. Never leave your job though. You may see your peers getting promoted and all the external show off. You will feel bad. You'll need his support at all points. He will have to take a very firm stand against all (his parents, yours, society..) to make sure you continue your job. He should even be ready to take a career hit if required for you. The career hit you will be taking will end up giving you one of the most happiest moments in life when you see your kid growing up. Once your kid grows up and starts minding his own business you will have a career and family in the end.

Whatever be the case don't ever leave your job. Talk to him. Be very specific. Don't mince your words. All the best dear.

Don't marry if you're on different terms regarding kids

Funny that someone who obviously doesn't care for her bf's opinion, parents' opinion or possibly would-be in-law's opinion (I'm sure they have an opinion on this), is pretending that random strangers' opinion here will be the decisive factor. Is this a masked survey for an assignment of yours or general time-pass? Btw very very lame subject line too.

Let me answer in 2 parts:

1. Emotional: Let's say you 'compromise' on hey we won't have kids surely. Cool. Either ten years down the line when your life has become monotonous (believe me, it will after you've achieved all the milestones) a kid is the next BIG thing which will keep you on the better side of the emotional roller coaster. I too was hesitant about this. 1.5 years into this, I'm all geared up for the next phase

2. Practical: our age will not be the same. Our lifestyle will not be the same. Our jobs and finances will not be the same. When the spouse is gone, or when the job is done. You are outdated. You are tired or burnt out, coming back home to someone who isn't in the same phase of life, and looking forward to their next big thing is something of an investment.

If you truly do not want kids and the other does, let go. So t get into this. Because one of the two reasons above will catch up with him and your daily life becomes miserable, so will his. Resentment is worse than regret. Good luck.