Is it just me who feels unlucky?
Okay, I’m a 35M with a kid, and my partner is 32. I genuinely want to ask other married men something honestly — how many of you feel that physical intimacy after marriage starts feeling less like love and granted and more like luck?
There are 5 days of PMS. Then another 5 days where mood swings, stress, and emotional exhaustion kick in before the cycle starts. On the remaining days, there’s always something — headaches, tiredness, kid will wake up shit excuses .
And somewhere in between all this, intimacy slowly turns into something that feels “optional” instead of natural.
Is it really so difficult for ladies / wives to create and maintain an intimacy routine after marriage?
Sometimes it honestly feels depressing — like why does something so important require so much struggle even after committing your whole life to each other?
Do other married men feel this too, or is it just me? Am I the only one unlucky here ?
Start helping out more in the house. Many women deal with a lot of invisible mental load managing the house hold. Make her feel peaceful and relaxed.
150% right, someone who manages the whole house and partner not understanding the efforts will definitely feel detached. For women intimacy comes from a feeling of being loved, it is not physical first. The person who posted is not worried about what's happening in her life, or what she is going through. The energy in running household is too much and if you're working and have a child, then expect zero energy, and most of the time the wife's behaviour will be based on how you treat her. If you are good to her, if you take responsibility for household tasks, then that will make her feel seen and understood.
True. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than when her partner contributes to these things without her having to ask for "help". Intimacy will come automatically once you become her place of comfort and not place of stress.
Sit and Talk to her about your needs and ask her how she feels about her body and needs. Sometimes exhaustion decreases libido in females so get her checked and take care of her health I guess you both will have a happy married life ahead
👍 agreed
Yes I feel it too, it's been 4 years now I have son now I want another child but wifes tantrums are never-ending. She has PCOD and she refuses to exercise or get in better shape because there is resistance on her side her logic is we won't be able to afford next child so why ruin someone else's life even though situation is not what she assumes. Not all marriages are successful currently I am nust living by just for formality.
You said you want another child, are you the one carrying the child for 9 months. Do you know how difficult it is? And you call it tantrum? Pregnancy, child birth and post delivery is very difficult, not cake walk. She has pcod right, you said she is not ready to get in shape, how helpful are you at home? Are you doing things and spending enough time for the family doing chores so that she can spend one or 2 hours in the gym and take good care of her health? If yes let me know in the comments. Also are you financially stable to afford one more child , is she wrong ? Also what do you think makes a marriage successful? A wife you do things as you wish???
Feminist Spotted ^^ @FairNoodle
Did you discuss this with your wife? Maybe she feels tired or exhausted all time. If this is the case try to get some help. Get hormones test, vitamin d and iron test. It could also be feeling less confident about her body post kid or physical activity
It's not help bro. It's sharing responsibility, there's a huge difference.
I am not married yet. But here is my opinion on it.
You mentioned why don't women "maintain an intimacy routine".
Routine can feel like chore, something you have to do even if you don't want to. So first of all you need to respect the bond you have with each other.
Second, did your partner recently gave birth? That can be a factor too.
Third, she maybe feeling overwhelmed and overburdened, do you help with childcare and around the house properly??
Maybe you aren't doing something right. Just talk about it, you will figure it out why she is not feeling like it.
And I would like to add, people who marry solely for physical intimacy don't stay happy/loyal for long. Marriage is not just about it... You are older than me , you know how much responsibilities married women have.
It's not about lucky/unlucky. You made a conscious decision about having kids right??
Recently, I read somewhere that many men marry for free access to physical relationships. OP completely proves it.
But why are you asking other married men instead of talking to your wife what exactly is troubling her?
Love this comment
@LostOwl why not? Women have many people to talk with men have few people if he wants to talk here talk and buddy it's woman there are never straight answers from them hell even they don't know what's wrong with themselves. So talking doesn't really help. You are either naive or didn't face same situation yet.
I feel sorry for you. Women with less libido as partners are really a bad decision. A cheating woman with high libido is better than a loyal girl with less libido. Its like marrying an ornament or a dead body. Bedroom feels so dead like this.
Bro, may be there are people born with less libido, but what I think is someone who has pearl should maintain pearl the way it should be right, if you out pearl in clay and ask pearl not to get dirty, how will it happen? Marriage doesn't change someone's libido, the partner of behaviour or emotional connection impacts a lot.
Wow! may you get your wish fulfilled and get a cheating woman with high libido to marry
Woman here. This happens in everyone's married life. Your wife is just exhausted or tired of the routine man. Is it possible to leave your kid with grandparents, and plan a weekend staycation. Gift her a surprise Spa treatment , she will respond positively. If nothing changes after this, issues are probably deep rooted and may require a closer look. Please take care.
See i can relate with your situation bro I am in a long term relationship for around 8years
So now i will tell you something important
If you really want a spark
Then go on dates alone time
Go for trips only you guys keep the kid with your parents
May be go for a romantic dinner or a late night movie tgen stay out in a hotel
See love just doesn’t happen
Its a thing you have to actively do both the party to invest then only it feels different
Maybe do some cosplays to spice it up
Feel young both of you 🥂
Good luck brother
