I wish my elder brother had my destiny đ
Today, something happened that shook me deeply. I had gone out with my elder brother for some work. We were just talking casuallyâuntil he shared something that made the ground beneath my feet feel like it disappeared.
He looked at me and said: "Donât stay here because of me. Iâm just unlucky. My destiny is doomed."
That one sentence broke me from within.
My brother is one of the kindest, most genuine people I knowâfun-loving, warm-hearted, and thoughtful. But sadly, our home environment never allowed him to become what he truly could have been.
Our mother, though caring, has always been extremely rigid. She never let him step out freely for work, and instead, constantly taunted him about his life choices and future. Now that same behavior is being repeated with our wives too.
Those constant taunts didnât just kill his careerâthey slowly killed his spirit. He once said: "Earlier, I used to enjoy food. Now I donât even feel like eating anymore." And itâs not just foodâheâs lost interest in everything. Even faith. His belief in God, prayers, and pooja has faded too. Thatâs what emotional pain doesâit drains you so deeply, you lose connection even with your soul.
He wasnât allowed to pursue what he truly loved. Our father also pushed him into a career path he had no passion for. He completed a diploma in Architecture (Polytechnic), and then worked for 10 years in a private construction company, where he handled billing work and basic measurements/documentation on site.
After a decade in that job, he decided to quit and chase something of his own. He tried starting a businessâbut without financial or emotional support, it wasnât easy. Now he just wants a job. Any decent job. In any city. He just wants to provide for his familyâespecially his little daughter, who is his biggest motivation.
By Godâs grace, I have a stable job today. But if Iâm honest, I wish he had my destiny instead. I wish he earned more than me. I wish he lived in a city far from this environmentâwhere he could rebuild, breathe freely, and smile again.
Because he truly deserves that chance. Heâs not unluckyâheâs just been emotionally exhausted for too long. And yet, he keeps going.
If youâre reading this and know of a job opportunity for someone with 10 years of experience in construction billing/measurement documentation, a diploma in Architecture, and a strong willingness to work in any sector or cityâplease reach out.
Sometimes, the most broken people are the ones who stayed strong for too long without support.
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Loved your concern for your brother
Don't worry just stay with your brother, support him financially and well as emotionally. The same thing I felt for my brother. Except the parenting/spouse issue. He needs a good friend which we are missing nowadays, the reason if you are financially not stable then your "so called friends" would not prefer to maintain a healthy relationship.
And don't blame your parents for anything, may be they wanted him to plan a better career.
So true....
Aur bano shravan kumar. Mkc this country and their pitru prem has destroyed scores of people. Phir bhi gadhe kuch nahi karenge.
Every family has had a different story.... Please don't try to generalize and impose your understanding of the world on everyone...
If a guy is behaving like a shrawan Kumar... Maybe that's because they raised him as a good human being and he's just trying to take care of them as he should.
Nothing wrong in that
You're literally playing to the stereotype that I'm talking about. Cuz it's the truth. Just cuz they raised him good doesn't mean he should be a doormat and ruin both his and his wife's life. Parents are toxic af, because they're flawed human beings who shouldn't be treated like god's but hey. Apna kulturrrrr
This is heartbreaking to read, and it hits so close to home. I understand your brother's pain on a very deep level because I've lived a version of his story. I am the middle child. Right after finishing my graduation in Kolkata, I left the city to build my own life. For about 2-3 years, I was working in accounts and living on my own. It was a start. Then, my father called me back home. My elder brother was pursuing his MBA, and my younger brother wasn't studying and was losing his way, though he always respected me. Believing I could help, I made the decision to leave my job and my life behind. I came back and started giving tuitions to support myself and, more importantly, to guide my younger brother and get him back on track. Fast forward 15 years. My younger brother is now wonderfully successful. He owns a car, a home, and has a beautiful kid. I am genuinely so happy for him. Meanwhile, I'm in my mid-30s, working in a real estate pre-sales department for less than 50k per month. I have two children in school, and my income isn't sufficient to support my family. To make matters worse, I am now in big debt just trying to manage our expenses. Like your brother, I feel my destiny was altered. I am happy for my brother's success, but I live with a constant, heavy feeling of regret. I don't know what to do or where to turn, and there's nobody to help. When your brother said, "My destiny is doomed," I felt that in my soul. Please give him strength. Sometimes the kindest hearts make the biggest sacrifices and bear the deepest scars. He's not alone in feeling this way.
Thanks for sharing. More power to you too.
I think most people don't think about this enough and consider it seriously but your surroundings and mindset in your formative years play a significant role in how your life shapes up.
Parents should try to ensure their kids are doing well mentally during this time otherwise there's not much you can do afterwards to change the course of their life.
More power to you and your entire family. â¤ď¸
What's stopping him now to go and live a life he likes!?đł
A survey of dying in Hospice was done by Bronnie Ware, author, teacher of courage (Google her).
Q - what is your top regret in life?
This was the top answer -
I WISH I HAD THE COURAGE TO LIVE A LIFE TRUE TO MYSELF, NOT THE LIFE OTHERS EXPECTED OF ME.
It's never too late to realise this and start a new chapter đ
Damn... Mine is doomed as well...
Please ping me I can help you out. !