I find it so hard to spend on myself
I come from a poor background, but somehow I worked extremely hard and now I earn decently well (above 60 LPA cash).
My problem is- I don’t mind spending on others. In fact I don’t even think twice before taking my card out and buying things for family or friends. I have also lent money to multiple people when they are in need of help (total close to about 2-3 lakhs). But it doesn’t bother me even a bit. I don’t even care about whether I’ll get it back or not.
But, when it comes to me, I find myself struggling so much and questioning my decision to buy things even as cheap as INR 200-300. And most of the times I find myself going extra miles to save a few bucks. In fact, I also recently downgraded from a bigger to smaller apartment, because I have been doing so much maths around saving 7-8K a month.
Maybe there is some part of me that feels that I don’t deserve any of this.
Anyone has any idea how to fix this?
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Nothing wrong, do you have peer pressure from family/frirends to save more than they are doing or do you have a number in mind to target (1cr/2cr)
maybe start by spending on things that you find value or improves your health/quality of life
Actually no peer pressure. I save decently already. My portfolio has recently touched about 1.5 cr. I think I am trapped in this endless rabbit hole of wanting more. Few years ago, my target was to have 50 lakhs in bank, when i hit that, it changed to 1 cr. And now that i have surpassed it, I’m looking forward to more.
The thing is - I kind of feel embarrassed to call people at my home, because I literally have nothing. I don’t even have a work table/chair. And when I think of spending on them and on other things like furniture and all, I feel like they’re super unnecessary. I have even considered rentals, but then I end up computing the annual fee, and discard the plan.
In fact, I recently got a bed because someone was selling it at cheap rate. Before that, I just had a mattress.
Get a girlfriend
Do whatever good keeps you happy. I think there's nothing to worry, it would naturally come to you on how much you need to, how much to want to and how much you wish to spend on yourself.
Spend atleast to the level you can enjoy the kind of life you want to live given your current monetary income.
If spending a bit on yourself gives you substantially greater comfort, peace of mind and a sense of enjoying your time, given you can afford that expense, don't stop yourself. Spend it. It will help you gain a sense of fulfillment to an extent.
Don't need to spend if you don't want to spend. Invest it and grow it so you can spend it on others and when you need to spend on yourself later.
There will be medical bills in the future, old age is a bitch. If you can grow that money well enough you can sponsor other old people in their retirement care too.
Sky is the limit with more money, it can be put to many good uses. I would say don't force yourself to spend on yourself if you don't actually need to.
Too many people get caught up in this habit of upgrading lifestyle even when not actually required. Those savings can be a lifesaver in times of need.
It's actually a blessing in disguise. Too many people have an overspending problem.
You deserve all of what you're getting! You've worked so hard for this I'm sure. Spend on what you love.. Don't let social media influence you with FOMO. If you like eating outside, go out frequently, if you like movies, watch new movies.. As long as you're debt-free or are able to save over 40%-50% of your income, you're doing fine. Even if you're not, that's fine too.
Live a life you can look forward to every day. And never let yourself feel that you don't deserve something. You've worked for all this! 🫰
There is nothing wrong in saving, comes from our upbringing. And I say we because I am in a similar boat.
What helped me is to realise beyond a point saving money isn’t gonna drastically improve my life. That extra 10k I save in a month wouldn’t make a big impact on my bank balance. However if I spend that 10k on a massage, a good dinner or in your case a good chair, I will end up being more relaxed and cheerful. And that is important because your success in life, monetary or otherwise depends a lot on how relaxed and comfortable you are in life
Ek hi life hai, if u are dead u are dead.
When you come from a background where financially it was tight and difficult growing up and you let go of all the small small things you wanted to own as a kid, during teenage and even college, sometimes the mind gets wired up sub’s consciously to start questioning on spending on oneself, ignore all these thoughts, I was in same boat till few years back, start appreciating what was life like and where you are now, indulge in spending a bit for yourself, all the savings is going to be use for family.
Spend some on yourself now, the age the time nothing will come back again, 20 years from now all what will left is - what if I had done this
The first question is “Are YOU happy?” with your current lifestyle? If yes, nothing else matters. Stop worrying about what others think, it won’t do any good anyway. But this is easier said than done.
But if you are not happy, write down the kind of life you want. I come from a similar background and always day dreamt that I will do this and that, when I have money.
And to start with, pick anything from this list…the smallest of thing how you can treat yourself. For me it was a Rs. 20 bottle of coke. If you feel even this is a lot, no worries..link it as a reward to some achievement.
For example, I was freelancing for sometime and on the days I earned XX amount I would treat myself with this bottle of coke and I truly believed it was well deserved.
I am not a guru, just sharing what worked for me.
And when I started my career I was very similar to you. I was lucky to get introduced to Ankit. He pushed me out of my comfort zone just a little to take baby steps. He has been helping me for years now.
I don’t have enough grapes to DM you, but if you want you can reach him at ankit@wealthup.me and mention my alias “fastandthecurious”. I will also let him know that you may reach out.
And you don’t need to feel guilty about spending money on this, as he won’t charge you 😊