QuirkyDumpling
QuirkyDumpling
Student

How to talk and bond with females in a non-romantic context as much as I do with males especially in social settings (college, gym)?

I am a 23-year-old male. Since the start of this year, I have been working on my social skills. Previously I was a typical introverted and shy guy who hesitated to talk to people but slowly and steadily I overcame my hesitation and now I am at a stage where I can strike up a conversation with anyone including women. To give you an idea of my progress , a few months ago I moved from my hometown which is a tier 2 city to a tier 1 city. Here, I attended a few meetups including Toastmasters Club where I initiated conversations with strangers including women as well. I also participated in public speaking events, debates, and auditions for various college clubs, where I often felt underconfident but still pushed myself to participate. In some instances, I was perceived as confident by others, and in a few moments, I genuinely felt confident from within. I even participated in a few of the group activities in my college as well as in other places also and in one of them, I represented my team where I had to publically address the audience for which my teammates praised me for the way I presented them. In all of them, I talked to women and collaborated with them well which was not the case earlier. I even marketed for an event which was conducted by my college club in which I had to approach and persuade people including women to join that particular event where I initially hesitated and stammered while I approached them but in a few attempts, I was in a flow and even I cracked few jokes with two females while I approached them to which they reciprocated nicely. Now the main problem that I am facing is that 99% of the time I take the initiative to strike up a conversation with strangers in social as well as in non-social settings and from what I observed is that males tend to re-engage in conversations a second time without me having to take the initiative again, and vice versa but females don't and I am not able to initiate the conversation with them the second time. Another thing I’ve noticed is that I can naturally talk to men without any specific context (such as group activities or event marketing), but with women, I often need a reason or context to start a conversation. How can I overcome this and build bonds with women (in a non-romantic context) as naturally as I do with men?

8mo ago
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JumpyPretzel
JumpyPretzel

Interesting post! I wonder if anyone would have put so much effort and focus on becoming more extroverted! It is amusing and enlightening both at the same time.

QuirkyDumpling
QuirkyDumpling
Student8mo

Apart from improving my social skills, I am also focusing on my career as well as my fitness however my motivation for all that is to get a gf and to be quite honest I am not spiritually enlightened enough to improve these areas of my life without the attachment to outcomes or for a much higher purpose.

QuirkyDumpling
QuirkyDumpling
Student8mo

Still there are areas where I need to improve upon such as most of the time I don't smile and I am in detrimental mode where I am not able to give a playful and fun vibe. However one of the best thing with me is that now I can make a first good impression.

ZippyMochi
ZippyMochi

What you're doing is fine. Just don't try too hard and don't write/talk too much. Less is more with women, they will reciprocate and initiate if they like you and are interested enough. If they aren't, they won't and you should get the hint.

ZoomyQuokka
ZoomyQuokka

Good advice.

GigglyQuokka
GigglyQuokka

Most women are already in a relationship or have bf, don't waste your energy buddy. It's very difficult unless you aren't very lucky in such matters.

GigglyBurrito
GigglyBurrito

Exactly bro. 99% of them are in a relationship. They will never say that but it’s the truth. Why should I go and become kabab me haddi. Missed the train already. Balckpilled completely.

DerpyLlama
DerpyLlama

A simple technique would be to learn how to flirt. Don't learn it to be a creep and flirt heavily with every single girl you meet, but use it just to make a conversation more interesting and fun for them. In return it will help you be more confident and memorable in their mind.

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