How do you get good flatmates?
It's been more than a month since I shifted to a flat. Two girls were already staying here. They are good friends, I feel like an outsider here.
I made the decision in a rush as I was staying with a friend and wanted to move out.
I tried being friends with them, I always be nice with them, I initiate the talks. But they don't even say "hi" from their side. Not even once. It feels totally awkward. I'm a very friendly person and living here is kinda suffocating me. Even when I was sick, even though they knew they didn't even ask how I was.
Though I take their parcels in their absence and be nice to them all the time while sometimes they make faces when I look at them.
It's not affecting my work but I feel pretty bad for staying here. I expect at least a basic emotional warmth. That's it. Nothing more.
Is this almost the same with everyone? That your flatmates are more like flatmates and not friends?
I started looking for other flats and flatmates but it's so difficult in Bangalore. Plus I don't wanna be in the same place again, so not rushing this time.
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Well, expectations lead to disappointments 🤷🏻♀️.
Why bother about people who don't even bat an eye at you?
Since you're friendly, you'll easily find other friends outside.
Just ignore them and be happy 😊.
Ah the universal friendship tantrums of girls.
Lmao
😂
I can totally understand this loneliness because I am like a person that can not stay alone. I need people to talk. But this things I have seen most common with girls staying together. One of my friend is also facing the similar issue, her flatmate doesn't even bother to say hi to her when she opens the door for her. You can try to make friends in office if you are feeling lonely and if you are an extrovert then it will be easier outside office also.
Here, one thing you can do is to shift in a PG. Even though this time you take some time finding a good house with good roomies, after shifting their nature can change also. My sister's ex roommate was very friendly and very arrogant. She was behaving like she owns the house.
In the end, it is very difficult to find good roomies. If you have a luck you will find. Can you please let me know in which area you are staying, if it is nearby to any of my female friends I will pass their number to you.
Near HAL
Ok assuming you are female, are you too rich to try a PG instead of a flat?
You could take 1 entire room to yourself, and just sit in the common area, people will talk to you.
I am on the other end of the spectrum compared to you and I like to be left alone, and maybe the 2 other girls are somewhere there too, i.e. they don't want to fck with you because they generally don't fck with anyone.
Maybe, but I expect basic hi and hello. May not be friends with me, that can't be forced.
Yeah, same with me, my flatmate doesnt engage much with me ! He has a gf and she often comes over! We have a spacious 2 bhk but they prefer to stay inside the room!
His gf is nice, we always meet and greet each other but i dont hangout with him at all!
But I think guys hardly give a shit about this.
We just discuss what to eat and get the cook to cook!
But thankfully i have childhood friends in bangalore who i meet every so often.
I have college friends as well, so yeah, i dont try to engage as well! Basically we are chill flatmates but i wouldnt say we are friends!
Yeah, I guess we get very less people who also try to be friends.
It has happened to me in Chennai, on multiple occasions. On top, they talked about you and bad mouthed about you in Tamil, thinking that I don't know Tamil but only Telugu. It's unavoidable, such people exist. What you can do is bring your friends/boy friend, from work, other groups, school, college, at your place, host them, talk with them party with them. And, tell them beforehand not to talk to your flatmates. Then you will enjoy your life. Also, you are not in your Home, be bold and ready to handle any situation independently. The world is not easy as it seems.
Based on my experience,I once shared a room with two other people—none of us knew each other before, but we had all joined on the same day. Since we were complete strangers, we naturally connected and built a strong bond from scratch. We went out together, had fun, and even cooked different meals. We shared a genuine friendship and created some really good memories together.
In another situation, I was sharing a room in a PG with my close friend and a third person. I had known my friend for years, but we didn’t know the third girl very well. While we did talk to her, our bond wasn’t as strong. Naturally, my friend and I spent more time together and didn’t include her as much. Over time, the third person felt left out, and eventually, she moved to another room.
So, I’ve realized it’s all quite natural. Some people are very friendly and open to building new bonds, while others prefer their own space or established relationships. In the end, it all comes down to individual personalities.
Not everyone thinks or feels the same way like you do. If they don’t reciprocate, it’s their loss.
Having said that, it can be an uphill task not to feel lonely.
You could definitely try to indulge yourself in building new hobbies, hitting gym and so on.. whichever or whatever that interests you.
Sometimes it’s okay to feel this way, you don’t need to be hard on yourself.
Don’t let this dim the kindness & positivity you have within.
Good attracts Good.
Keep going! :)