Help! offer evaluation from fintech start up.

Recently interviewed at Fintech startup for senior business analyst and I’ve got verbal offer from the recruiter. Need help with offer evaluation.

Total YOE - 5 years YOE in Analytics - 3 years

Current salary :

1. 17L fixed, No variable

2. ESOPS worth 1L, vested every quarter

3. Current domain - Retail e-commerce

Offered:

1. 20.5L fixed , 1L performance based variable

2. ESOPS worth 40L vested over 4 years. 25% vested after completing 1 year. Remaining vested every quarter. Valuation based on last funding round. IPO might be at-least 10 years away.

3. No joining bonus

I don’t have any other offers in hand at this time. The hike on base pay is 20%, I tried to negotiate for 30% + some amount of joining bonus which i thought is reasonable but the recruiter went on a long speech on why the current offer is best in market and how she has tried her best to get this offer and can’t go above this, etc ,etc. she even tried to sneak in panic by saying one of the round dint go very well with the interview panel but they are willing provide opportunity considering the scope for improvement on the job.

I don’t have much experience with job switching and salary negotiation which gave her clear upper ground at the first instance of negotiation. Should I stick to my ground for 25 - 30% ? I’m keen on joining but also wouldn’t want to lose on any better compensation. Also, ESOPs offered seems very high, did I miss hear the amount? She said she’s willing to send out the offer letter only once I give verbal approval to accept the offer, is this some kind of tactic to guilt trip the candidate?

Please advise, any help is appreciated.