Divorce (need tour inputs)
got married at the relatively young age of 26. Just a few months into the marriage, the demands from my wife’s family began to feel overwhelming—almost like a nightmare.
Some of these included:
Transferring my entire salary to my wife's account. Purchasing a house. Buying a car in her name. Enrolling in gold schemes and chit funds as investments. A clear lack of respect toward my parents. A bit of background:
I’m an MBA graduate from IIM, and at age 27, I was earning a package of around 20–25 LPA. I never asked for dowry, and they didn’t offer any either. My wife’s family are distant relatives, and they are significantly wealthier than mine. After the wedding, we moved to Bangalore and lived independently. During holidays, my wife would always insist on visiting her parents, while she visited mine only once or twice—and only briefly.
When we were alone, she was generally kind—she would cook, and I would help. However, her attitude toward my parents remained disrespectful. At the time, I lacked the emotional maturity to recognize and confront these red flags.
She would make hurtful comments about my parents—for example, questioning why they didn’t pay my MBA fees or suggesting they were a burden on me. It felt like she was trying to create distance between me and my family, likely influenced by her mother.
The saddest part came later—she became pregnant and got a job in Chennai, so she moved there, with her mother living alongside her. I visited every week, traveling frequently just to be with her and support her through the pregnancy. But over time, the demands increased, and I began to feel completely disrespected.
They even asked me to switch jobs and insisted my parents shouldn’t visit her. Still, I compromised on everything, driven by love and emotional attachment.
After the birth of our child, the situation worsened. I became emotionally drained, and one day, in frustration, I raised my voice. I did not resort to any physical actions—I just shouted.
That was it. They moved back to their hometown.
Two to three weeks later, I went to visit them. They asked me to leave and didn’t even let me see my child.
Now I have no option other than to file the divorce
I had a great professional career, I was always a caring person but seems like my life is destroyed
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It is your fault 100%. If you want rich wannabe independent working women there are consequences. At first you let them disrespect your parents, you didn't stand your ground, you didn't defend, they already see you weak. Then they started disrespecting you and still you didn't hold the ground. And your women can see clearly if you're not standing for yourself and cannot stand for anyone.
Her mother is in full control in your marriage you should have pointed out way earlier. The only solution is no matter what stand for yourself, forget her, forget the kid, you can't do anything. Get divorce, pay alimony if applicable, find a new girl from this experience and go on...
- it is 100% my fault for letting them
- she was not working when we got married, she got a job few months back and would be 20% of my salary
- I am not sure why independent women should not respect partners parents (this is basic).. I am realising these things now
- I have pointed out many times and she gets defensive, and it is not as easy would seem to deal with narcissistic personality
Let the situation cool of little for 2-3 months atleast. You both have a baby now. Talk with her. Don't involve any one family. It's you, her and baby. You both are irreplaceable in baby's life.
Right now it could be all hormones, post partum effects.
N did you visit her during delivery?
Try to bring back to ur house. She must b having maternity leave any ways.
Looks like there is a problem in her family. Sit down with her, n explain that ur parents n family is equally important. If she thinks u r spending on them...30k to 40k must b nothing for ur salary.
Give one more try for ur baby then take n think of major decision.
- I was at the hospital the whole time during delivery sleeping just outside on steel chair and alone
- I just do recharges for my family because they dont know how to do it.. even this she does not like it
Wow, ur a very acknowledged lady. Appreciate your words of wisdom 👍🏻
Hope she understands I had 3-4 working professional but I married to a girl who belongs to village and dam simple like me. 3 yrs now it’s has been blessed with boy . She respects my hard work a lot and do kiss her feet like laxmi mata every day. When she came to my life I grew from 10LPA to 35LPA I give more credit to her than my hard work .
She doesn’t earn but she support me a lot . I pray everyone should get a wife like her.
I would say give her some time to recover talk about the consequences of divorce if she still disagree, Divorce will be the best option rather than whole life stress.
Remember: everything can be changed but you cannot change anyone’s behaviour and attitude
Ur wife is not nice cuz she is a village girl. She is nice cuz she as a person is nice without any labels
Take advice from your mutual friends who knows you and your wife..
And before filing for divorce.. I would suggest to get some things sorted which can be manipulated against you.. some sort of proof that you didn't do anything illegal that may have impacted your marriage.. Take lawyer's advice.. THIS IS A BIG DECISION.. She probably is also having the same thoughts so better you start preparing..
Nothing is worth draining your mental peace..
Part your ways man!!! You can’t get back your wife when there’re too much involvement of her parents. Specially her mother. Another thing is you did mistake by marrying a girl from financially more sound than yours. So they think you are nothing infront of their. Sadly you got your kid too. I understand the emotional attachment but you can’t deny the psychological trauma happening with you. As per my understanding, talk to your parents and file for divorce. As per your post you already tried to resolve things but didn’t work. Again those alimony issues will happen but at least you can live peacefully after that.
Very true, Thanks
You have no idea how mean things can parents say during pregnancy. They hv two faces, one infront of you other infront of your wife. Mine tortured me like anything saying things like my child would be born with a defect and all. You left her alone in pregnancy that was your mistake.
Don't get emotionally attached to your wife and her kid. She'll eventually make your kid hate you too. Better stand for yourself and get rid of her and the relationship. Try your best not to give any alimony. It's her choice to leave, you don't have to pay for her decision.
It has been 6 months since I have seen my child.. I am fine with permanent alimony. I want to cone out of this It is just draining me emotionally
Really terrible advice from many folks here. There is just too much ego at play here. Let some friends and relatives into this discussion. Let them have an intervention - I've seen fights like this in every second marriage. And yes, post some serious intervention, these couples have been together till today. Some of their seemingly marriage-ending/divorce-ready fights happened more than 10 years ago. Your child can't be a victim of you and your wife's fight. He or she needs both parents.
One of the Sensible Advice..!! Although girl's Moms are creating havoc these days ..as I have seen...
1st and last rule, where ever the girl was seen mingling more with her mother even after marriage, then in major cases the above stated scenarios are normal.
Before taking any rash decision visit a counsellor, make her realise that her parents and even her earned money whatever she is earning will not stand by her side when she will need it the most..It will be you with her on side of her death bed.. If her parents are important for her yours are too for you..You have given her your surname and a respect by bringing her into your family. Try to talk to her on daily basis via any medium and Ask her straight to the point what does she wants it and why does she wants it..Make her write that down or you write it down on a Piece of paper and make her read it..People sometimes dont realise their mistakes before its too late.
If that was the case I could have already tried 🙇🏻