Bacha kab karoge? (When are you having kids)?
We plan on staying a child free couple. Constantly bombarded by this question. Both in mid 30s, career focused and mutually agreed to not have kids. Hit me with your reasoning for having, not having kids and best comebacks for these questions.
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Child Free is cringe.
It's a new age fad which looks cool till 35-40 but then you spend rest of your life feeling shitty since it's against your biological hardwiring. But you can't speak up about it because it makes you look like an idiot. So you keep posting "child free and happppyy" while secretly feeling jealous of social media posts of others kids growing up and shit
Someone’s personal life choices make you cringe?
This isn't something that would convince your families, but I believe it should be the other way round - "WHY do you want to have kids?"
Most people get stumped here and go about the usual "Budhape ka sahara" or "passing on the legacy" nonsense and to that, I always say - What if the child decides to grow up and severe all ties with my culture and legacy? What if the child decides to grow up and move abroad or becomes a digital nomad so there's no one to take care of my in my old age? If I want guarantee, I might as well invest all that money in a good retirement fund or something so I know I'll be taken care of Or better yet, make crazy amount of money to hire help
Anyway, most of them usually then resort to "What else will you do in life if not raise kids" at which I just give them a sorry look and move on
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The chances of your child leaving you when you need them is small, unless you're a shitty parent. One should be confident enough in their parenting knowledge, capacity and skills to take on the task.
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Hired help can never replace the care and understanding that a loved one can provide. Can tell that from firsthand experience with grandparents. It can be a huge burden for the kids though, not everyone is cut out for it.
It's a complex issue with no right answer, just contextual answers in relation to each person and their preferences and capacity.
Also, when someone says what else will you do, they're kinda right. We're all made to reproduce and continue humanity forward over generations. If you look at it from a biological perspective, not a personal one, it's common sense.
Biologically wired parental instincts also kick in after late twenties, hard to ignore.
Ooh, child free (intend to stay child free) AND plant parent! I'm so proud of this monstera I got from Meghalaya, it's THRIVING!
Guys, I don't know if you realise it, I didn't buy the plant, I literally asked a local and he hacked off a gigantic piece from his garden and I flew the giant plant all the way back and planted it and it has 2 GIANT new leaves and a couple of new baby shoots, all in 4 months!!
People who aren't into this may not get how propagating a plant from branches with nodes works.
We have one kid and want to keep it that way. Both me and wife are mid-30s. We were told to have another and simply shut our parents. We actually didn’t have any hard fast rule to having kids. We would have been happy either ways.
For us, we wanted to see how our offspring looks like. We don’t know how our child would turn out in future. We know for sure that he wouldn’t stay with us, and that’s fine.
Parenthood is very hard, without family support, but at the same time satisfying to love our kid.
Well that's not a good thing. Lack of a sibling is something quite painful. As a single child, I always feel a void. No amouts of friends, cousins can fill that.
That’s what most of the people have told us. But, raising a kid is not an easy task. Requires lot of attention from your end. Plus, the way inflation is growing and the humongous education fees, we want to give the best for our child.
Having two kids will put a lot of financial burden. Job security is also a concern nowadays. Thank god that my wife still has her job. Don’t want to be in a situation where both of us are unemployed and have two kids to take care of.
Not sure, but once we achieve a comfortable financial position, we may adopt.(it’s a decision both of us agree on and are comfortable, though not parents and relatives, but we don’t care).
- if you had the option to choose where to be born, would you be born in your house. Else no need to add on more rat to the rat race
- does your next generation get to have a major upgrade in life style than you had, or are just continuing mediocrity. Why bring someone into this world and give them an avg life with lot of basic struggles
- as Indians, we have produced way more than required. We all know this. Do a bit for your country if you can.
Resonate with most of your points. Add to this the socio economic and political climate in India and I don’t want to leave my offspring with a hell scape in future.
Look up population curves. This barebone reasoning doesn't work. Well to do people not having kids only increases the proportion of idiots in the population. If you want to help your country, have kids
I like how everyone here is deciding for everyone else.
😂😂😂
Suddenly, everyone has become 'the society' they run away from.
Well me and my partner are gay soooooo....solves half of the worldly problems like this, but we have bigger ones too..lmao
Aren't gay people having kids these days?
@dojacat thats true but by finding a lesbian and registering a false marriage and then adopting one.
Or via surrogacy and all these options sounded too much work.
But we both don’t like kids and so its fine… all are day goes in gym, sports or work and our PHD degree so who has the time?
First I pay 30% of my income to the government
Then I put aside 30-40% more caring after a human that’ll have me worried, won’t let me sleep well and doesn’t know how to clean after themselves? Fuck that